Just so we’re clear if I say “shut up” and you say “make me” I am instantly thinking about making out with you
also just so we’re clear if you say “shut up” and i say “make me” that is most definitely an invitation to make out with me
ok so i tried to do this
AND LOOK WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED
Its like midnight but I cant stop laughing help
YEAH THATS A BRILLIANT IDEA UNTIL YOU REMEMBER THAT TOASTERS F UCKING EJECT THEIR PRECIOUS CARGO ONTO THE VOID OF DESPAIR THAT IS YOUR NASTY RATCHET ASS KITCHENETTE FLOOR
GUYS I JUST DID THIS AND MY TOASTER SET ON FIRE
"bear with me" you say. we both turn into bears and escape into the woods
you can still have no lines in a movie and still be a phenomenal actress
Grey's Anatomy Sorting Hat
[suggested by deepseadandy]
my mom ordered two different pizzas from two different places cause she had coupons and they both got here at the same time so we had a pizza hut delivery guy and a dominos delivery guy both standing by our front door and the dominos guy looks at the pizza hut guy and proceeds to sing Why Can’t We Be Friends? while the pizza hut guy just glares at him
Back in prehistoric times it was just a free for all. God was putting antlers on everything and made 7 foot tall gophers with wings, it was a mess.
Look at this poor, impractical bastard.
The prehistoric era was God’s Deviantart stage.
Now he just hides all of his stupid-looking OCs in the ocean where no one can find them.
What This Man Found In A Bag Of Mulch Will Blow Your Mind. What He Did With It Will Melt Your Heart.
A Florida man opened a new bag of mulch and, to his surprise, he found a baby squirrel inside. We found the man on Reddit, where he is known by the handle “Nadtacular,” but now the Internet is starting to know him because of his compassion. The baby squirrel appeared to be only days old when he found it. It was so young, he initially mistook it for a mouse or rat. But he decided to take care of it, and lucky for us, document his its development.
As you can see from the photographs, a bond developed between the man and the squirrel, which he named “Zip.” There is no definitive answer to how baby Zip found its way into the bag of mulch, but it’s safe to say Zip appears to be enjoying his new home. It’s also safe to say that this man’s selfless act has restored our hope in humanity. Way to go!
Via Slightly Viral
Could alien viruses pose a threat to human astronauts when they land on Mars? This intriguing question is asked by Dale Griffin in a new paper, who also asks whether our first evidence of extraterrestrial life could come in the shape of viruses.
THIS IS MY FAVORITE BC THERES DEER IN THE DISTANCE LIKE AYE FUCK MAN SOMETHIN GOIN DOWN
A few months ago, physicist Harold White stunned the aeronautics world when he announced that he and his team at NASA had begun work on the development of a faster-than-light warp drive. His proposed design, an ingenious re-imagining of an Alcubierre Drive, may eventually result in an engine that can transport a spacecraft to the nearest star in a matter of weeks — and all without violating Einstein’s law of relativity.
HOLY SHIT WARP DRIVE IS PLAUSIBLE AGAIN